


Spiral

by otakuwriter



Series: Lane Vermell [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Creepy Tourist, Established Polyamourus Relationship, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Misgendering, Other, Relapse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 15:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19871803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otakuwriter/pseuds/otakuwriter
Summary: Welcome to one of the worst days of Lane's life, not only being called by names they aren't, they get grabbed by an unfamiliar tourist giving poor Lane a bit of a shock. Before they know it they're spiraling back into old habits.





	Spiral

Today had been a rough one, Lane had gotten several customers throughout their shift at the Big Donut. Misgendering at its finest, Lane tried to keep the intrusive thoughts away as best they could, but by the end of the day they had enough. One their way home some unknown male had hit on them, Lane politely declined the advance but it was for naught. This tourist didn’t accept the decline very well and grabbed Lane’s arm. Lane bit their lip as the male talked down to them like they weren’t a valid human being. He said things like “She was such a pretty girl, and it was such a shame that she didn’t have a boyfriend.” Those words made Lane’s skin crawl. Lane jerked themselves away from the more than rude tourist and darted towards home, well their second home. 

Once Lane reached the beach house that Steven and his gem-family occupied, they darted inside the safe zone. They saw a note that read ‘The Gems took Connie and I out for a mission, We’ll be back later tonight. -Steven and Connie’ Lane loved that Steven and Connie would leave notes on the kitchen island for them to read when the duo would go off on missions. 

Lane took a deep breath to try to calm down, it worked for a little while. They sat on the couch to try to ground themselves, the scent of fresh ocean water and the safety of Steven’s home was amazing. Lane had kicked off their shoes and curled up on the couch, maybe a nap could help ease their frantic mind from today’s horrific events. Lane was more than wrong. 

Lane’s nap was abruptly ended by a nightmare waking them in a cold sweat, no more than 20 minutes had passed by. By default Lane began to dig at their arms trying to shake off the fear from their anxiety induced nightmares. Lane stood and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind them, They dropped to the cold bathroom tile scratching at their arms as they drifted into a space of darkness not knowing what was real or what was in their head. Lane subconsciously leaned on the bathtub nails digging in repetitive motions at their arms, so deep in a dark place in their mind they were unaware of the ill effects they were causing to their body. 

In the mindscape the misgendering, anxiety and the creepy tourist from today resurfaced in this head space. Figures all came after Lane using words that made them uncomfortable, incorrect pronouns, deadnaming, the sudden thought that the tourist might harm them, all bubbled up to the surface of this darkened headspace. Lane’s nails dug deeper and faster trying to make all of the thoughts of today just go away. What seemed like hours in this void of anxiety and panic was just enough time for Steven, Connie and the Gems to come home. 

Steven noticed Lane’s backpack near the end table and shoes next to the closet door, but Lane was nowhere in sight. He began to worry a little. Steven went up to the loft where his bedroom happened to be just to check to see if Lane had taken a nap in his bed. He saw no signs of one of his partners. “Connie! I can’t find Lane! I’m kind of worried.” Steven called out to the present partner in the room. 

Connie looked up at Steven, “Have you checked outside on the deck?” She asked before making her way to the deck to check herself. All that Connie saw was the footprints in the sand leading up to the beach house. “I see their footprints, but they stop at the steps, and Lane’s shoes are inside right?” Connie asked as she started to head back into the house. “Could Lane be in the bathroom?” Connie suggested as she walked toward the distraught Steven. “We haven’t checked there yet.” 

Connie and Steven made their way to the bathroom door that was closed. Steven knocked on the door, respecting privacy. But there was no sound that came from the room. Connie tried knocking this time, there was a small noise heard, a very faint whimper. Steven took a deep breath and turned the knob to the bathroom and there laid Lane, blood seeping from their arms. Steven covered his mouth in shock, this hadn’t happened before, what happened to push Lane to this state. He took Connie’s hand and treaded carefully towards the limp looking body. 

Connie pulled Steven down with her as she sat on the chilled floor taking one of Lane’s hands in her own. She gave a reluctant squeeze. The limp appendage squeezed back. Connie felt tears slip from her eyes. “Lane’s still alive.” She declared in a hushed tone. 

Steven felt tears well up in his eye, he was glad to hear that Lane was still alive. He crouched down next Lane lifting their head. “It’s ok, we’re here we’ve got you.” He cooed into Lane’s ear hoping for a response. 

Lane’s body shuddered as they heard both of their partners speak. Lane blinked slowly, “How did I get here?” They asked with no recollection, they raised their head seeing the light coming in from the open door and felt warmth from Steven and Connie. Lane blinked again trying to focus their eyes. Their head was still fuzzy as they scanned over the pile of limbs noticing the red patches on their arms. “Steven? Connie?” Lane rasped out. 

The duo made of Steven and Connie looked to the lips of Lane, “Are you alright?” Connie asked worry cloaked her voice. Steven stood to get the first aid kit. He was overjoyed to see that Lane was coherent, but a little upset that they hadn’t texted or called himself or Connie to let either of them know what was going on. 

Lane swallowed thickly, “I don’t know, the last thing I remember was a bunch of terrible things happened today and I came here after work, read the note you two left for me, took my shoes off and took a nap. I don’t know when or how I got here.” It was shortly after the word ‘here’ left Lane’s lips they looked towards their blood caked arms and began to panic. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened.” Lane cried as tears fell from their green eyes. 

Connie bit the inside of her lip and pulled Lane close, “It’s alright, shh, you can tell us what happened when you remember, there’s no pressure.” Connie soothed. Steven made his way back to his partners on the floor. “Let’s get you cleaned up, ok?” He asked as he popped open the first aid kit. Connie pulled away, “Yeah can’t let you get an infection.” She smiled weakly as she grabbed the peroxide and cotton balls. Connie began to work on cleaning one arm where fresh wounds lay. Steven took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to theirs, “We’re here for you like you’re here for us.” He smiled softly and kissed Lane’s nose before he began to dab cotton balls and peroxide on the other arm. 

Lane felt guilt pang in the deepest part of their stomach as their partners helped get their new scars cleaned up. Lane bit the inside of their cheek in an effort to not pull away while Steven and Connie worked their magic. Soon Lane’s forearms were covered in several layers of gauze and first aid cream. “Let me clean the bathroom floor, please? You both already took care of my….” Lane paused, “injuries. And I want to help out for the hard work you two did for me.” Lane felt their ears heat up in embarrassment. 

Steven sighed, “Just be careful, please, I would like to keep you from getting household cleaners in your injuries.” Steven said more worried than he intended to let on. Connie looked at Steven and Lane, “It’s not a lot of blood on the floor, but as long as you’re careful I’ll be ok with it. But one condition, afterwards you get in something comfy and we all just enjoy each other’s company and eat together, it’s been a long day for all of us. And we all deserve to spend time together relaxing.” 

Lane nodded, “Sounds more than fair to me.” Lane winced a little as they pushed themselves off of the tile floor. “I love you both so much.” Lane said through a few tears from the pain in their forearms. 

Steven and Connie hugged Lane tightly, “You’re amazing, Lane, we love you too.” Steven was the first to let go and head off to get the cleaning supplies for Lane, they deserved a little bit of help when it came to getting the supplies. Connie nuzzled into Lane’s hair and kissed their head. “Remember what I said, that means your binder too” 

Lane nodded. “Thank you, both so much.” With that thank you Steven brought over the cleaning supplies. Lane busied themselves cleaning up the mess they had made trying not to think back to what made them lose themselves so badly. After less than a half an hour the blood that was spilled on the tile was gone. Lane followed through the condition Connie had laid out. Lane changed into comfy clothes that they had shoved into their backpack for after work.

Connie and Steven sat on the couch leaving a Lane-sized space between them. Connie patted the empty space ready for Lane to get comfy and relax with them. 

Lane followed the direction of the patting and made their way to the empty space. They wiggled into the space and pulled Steve and Connie close clasping either partners’ hand. “I’m sorry that you had to find and see me like that. But I’m glad it was you two.” Lane swallowed. “I really don’t know how I got to the bathroom, but I’m guessing that I might’ve had an anxiety attack in my sleep that caused my episode.” Lane looked at both of their partners before speaking again. “Today was full of being misgendered, my pronouns not used and some creepy tourist telling me all kinds of things that made my skin crawl. I think i was just pushed over the edge today. I’m sorry I didn’t contact either of you, your missions are important, and I would rather have you two alive in the field than being distracted by a phone call.” Lane said squeezing Connie and Steven’s hands in unison. “But thank you for caring about me and patching me up. I’m sorry I made you both worry so much.” Lane inhaled deeply. “That’s really all that’s happened today that I can remember.” 

Connie and Steven turned on the couch to face Lane better before wrapping their arms around Lane tightly, “Of course we care and worry, it’s part of being in a relationship. No one is alone in this one.” Steven said sweetly for both Lane and Connie to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this work! It's one of the first real pieces I've written in a very long time.  
> I will be trying to upload more works containing my OC, Lane Vermell. If you have any questions feel free to comment!  
> -Sebas


End file.
